Rihanna tells Brown “I deserved it” in Baruba

In a world exclusive The Pooffington Heist reports Rihanna is currently in Baruba with still-boyfriend Chris Brown.

Here is the report (edited for a family newspaper) reproduced with permission from the Heist*.

“Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together, The Pooffington Heist has learned exclusively.

According to a spokesperson for Def Doodoo Records, the pair have reunited almost three weeks after Brown, 19, allegedly battered the “Umbrella” singer into unconsciousness, breaking her jaw and causing other facial injuries requiring extensive dental reconstruction and cosmetic plastic surgery on Feb. 8.

Diddy Villa, Baruba, W.I.

“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the spokesperson who needs to remain anonymous to avoid revealing his name to Las Vegas police seeking witnesses to a recent record-company related drive-by multiple murder.

The Heist tracked-down the on-again couple to one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s many homes on the tiny tropical island paradise of Baruba.

“While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened,” said Combs, “he’s willing to forgive the woman he loves and will drop all charges against himself if she publicly blames herself.”

He said Rihanna called Brown on her 21st birthday one week ago.

“He grudgingly wished her happy birthday and when she said she deserved the beating for accusing him of wanting to f**k Alicia Keyes and apologised for having her jaw broken he suggested they get back together for a trial period to write some rap s**t.

“They’ve started the healing process writing s**t for a joint album we’ll be releasing in May, and I like what I’m hearing.”

Dr. Sylvia Chew, Head of the California Institute for Spousal Abuse in Malibu said she doubted reports put out by any record company facing staggering potential losses if Brown goes to jail.

“I’m told one of their new rap songs is ‘I said I loved you even when you f****d-up my face and beat the s**t out of me, but I lied,’ which if true is a cry for help from a little child needing a father and suffering from acute Stockholm Syndrome.”

© The Pooffington Heist 2009 – All reproduction expressly forbidden without adequate protection.